Match Report

Goals scored
Tony Bush (3), Danny Sarling, Paul Munyard, Graham Rix, Chris Viecelli.

Man of the match
Terry Bush

Today’s encounter saw Landsdowne Rangers travel all the way to Markhams Chase to take on Winston, the team Landsdowne demolished only 2 weeks ago.

Leading up to kick off could sum up a typical Sunday league match. Firstly the Landsdowne players informed each other that Winston were only fielding a 10 man team today, this saw everyone’s hopes raise as goals, goals, goals was what was needed from today’s league match. However, Danny Sarling strolled out the changing rooms and informed the Landsdowne army that Winston had 16 players ready in the changing room….. Out came 11 Winston men from the changing rooms…. Good call there Danny, can you ask your physio if he specialises in eyes as well as backs, hamstrings, calf’s, shoulders, arms, wrists, and of course buying new boats next time.

Spooky was to take position between the sticks to cover for Ben who didn’t come all the way from Clacton. However, John Wilson learning that Spooky was probably going to be playing left back on tour, John realising that this was close to his Centre half position and that could be in jeopardy for next season if Spooky impresses at the back on tour. He looked around, saw his opportunity and fired the ball at Spooky’s wrists, bending them back in pain and ending up in the back of the goal net in pain. Spooky, big net, whale looking, caught in net… you make your own headlines…..

It was later discovered that Spooky had broken his wrist. I think John wont be getting many votes from that corner for the next few matches.

So, Dean Weaving sportingly put the goalkeeping gloves on in search of Landsdowne’s first clean sheet of the season. Clean sheets, Dean… you make your own headlines….

Manager Pete Smart was to take position as the referee, everyone was bloody happy that the posts were assembled otherwise it really would have been jumpers for goalposts. After all that exciting and shocking news, the game started, only for it to get even stranger 20 seconds in, Danny Sarling races clear of the Winston defence, with only the keeper to beat, however his nose bleed put him off having been that far up and only managed to hit the post.

Landsdowne were 1 – 0 up within a minute after that as Tony Bush had basically scored when the Winston defender punched the ball off the line. Penalty!! Up stepped the grey haired Bush and whack… the ball fired home. 12 yards out, no-one marking him. He doesn’t miss those. Well he does. But well done this time.

Landsdowne started to play badly, it was as if they went 1 – 0 up in 1:20 secs and everyone wanted to play their own game. Landsdowne dominated the game with wave upon wave of attack with near misses from Gavin Mayo, Graham Rix, Gavin Mayo, Tony Bush, Gavin Mayo, Terry Bush, Gavin Mayo, Perry Ives and Gavin Mayo.

The ball was finally to go in again, as Paul Munyard (Normally known as “The Yard” “Scotland Yard”, “Farmyard” or as his parents call him…. “Paul”) took a quick pass from Graham, rounded the keeper, scratched his arse, and then rolled the ball over the line. Tony Bush made the score-line 3 – 0 at half time as his initial shot was blocked by the keeper, only to take the ball back and pass it over the line.

At half time, Pete made some clear points that players were not working as a team and we were all guilty of wasting opportunities in front of goal, and not doing the basics. With that ringing in our ears the players took to the field.

Tony Bush was on the score sheet again.Winston must have not been at the races today as Tony or was it Niall Quinn (I couldn’t tell as they are both tall and grey haired) headed in a trade mark header from a good long throw my Chris.

Danny Sarling of all players added his name to the list of scorers. As he cleverly passed the ball into the net, however this goal did come after he managed to:
1) Knock the keeper out in a challenge only 5 minutes earlier.
2) Make a diving header at goal 8 yards out, where the ball was only (Farmyard’s brother) ˝ a yard off the floor, why he didn’t volley the ball (with the outside of his boot) is beyond me. Anyway he didn’t with the header.

The 6th scorer was Graham, with a great through ball by the ageing Danny Sarling with the outside off Danny’s boot. Obviously.

The 7th goal, which is currently sitting on the desk of the FA panel to be decided who to give it to. Chris V is claiming the goal, who thundered a shot onto the near post, as the ball travelled either away from goal or into the opposite inside netting it hit the defender and crossed the line. Will Chris get an assist or will he be given his first goal of the season, the jury is out. When I say jury is out, what I mean to say is…. Danny, Tony, Pete and Brian are in the pub.

I know there will be a lot of what could have been??? If we were to have scored more goals today. However, I ask you to cast your eyes at the other 15 games and ask yourselves could we have scored more in that game, or could we have not conceded in that game? So, we shouldn’t look at a 7 – 0 win away from the fortress that is Holy Cross as a disappointing result that could have propelled us closer to the top of the league, but as a result that has cemented our place a little harder in second place as we look for promotion this year, in what truly is a great achievement should we finish the job for a good bunch of blokes that have a great time and win some football matches along the way……rrrrrrrrrrrrr

Man of the match

Terry Bush was really confused before the game as normally every changing rooms that he has been in with Landsdowne this season always has mirrors on each side of the walls, so he always ends up face to face with himself which ever way he looks. This was until someone pointed out to him, that Rob was not there today for the first time…........ ahhhh