Match Report

Goals scored
Tony Bush (2), Brian Butler

Man of the match
Daniel Sarling

Lansdowne went in search of their second win of the season today that would have kept pressure on at the top of the table. A win today would see Landsdowne stay 2nd in the league regardless of any one else's results, maybe even top the table if one result went their way. Their opponents were Durham who were in a confident mood after their 5-0 win the week before so it was a tricky game all round.

Landsdowne had put the result behind them from the previous week after all the missed goal scoring chances that went begging and that late diabolical referee's decision. Landsdowne knew they should not have been in that game with a one goal decider and were determined to put it right, after all that sort of thing doesn't happen every week does it ? How can I put it - its very rarely that lighting strikes twice. Well, the above is true unless your Landsdowne. F*!K ME, when are we gonna catch a break?

Talk about dejavue. Opportunities went begging and in a one goal decider, you've guessed it, up step Mr referee for another late offside decision.

Landsdowne started the game slowly seeing poor marking at the near post from a corner go in, leaving Landsdowne trailing 1-0 after ten mins. Then within five mins Durham went further ahead when poor marking saw their striker unmarked, stick out a boot and guide the ball into the corner of the net leaving Landsdowne trailing 2-0.

With fifteen mins gone things were not looking good but Landsdowne were starting to get back into the game when a mistake by Ze German in the 25th minute (the quiet mellow fellow) who miscontrolled a nothing pass, to which their striker said "thank you" hit a risp rasper leaving the inform Landsdowne keeper no chance and in the process leaving Landsdowne a huge mountain to climb.

So what did Landsdowne do ? Did they pack their bags and head home ? The answer is simply "NO". They packed their backs and went mountaineering and got near the peak by the end of the first half. In quick succession goals flew in.

The first a quality corner by Whitey saw Raviolli rip the net with a text book header leaving the score 3-1 with ten mins left. Game back on.

After another spell of pressure Whitey took another corner, this time drilled low, only to find none other than
Ze German, who drilled it in from 3 yards out. This takes his goal tally to 2 goals for the season and his second in 30 games for the club.

Unfortunately he proceeded to celebrate as I put it previously in his bouncing bomb fashion, but after witnessing it again I think its more fitting to compare it to a fairy. All that was missing was a little skip and a wand, well the wand anyway.

Then with five mins to go Raviolli, the grey haired old goat, hit a 30 yard shot on his left which saw it fly into the net leaving the score 3-3 at the end of the first half.

The second half kicked off and Landsdowne took to the field in high spirits, they erected tents and camped in Durham's half for the entire second half, but like the previous week they could not get another goal. Then with ten mins left Durham had their first real attack of the half. Up stepped the defence, up went the flag, and yet again the ref. ignored it, leaving their player a free diving header to make the score 4-3.

Landsdowne dug in deep and attacked for the last ten mins with a changed 4-3-3 formation but to no avail. They carried on ploughing through their defence like a tractor through a field, but despite their efforts another ref. had robbed them leaving them with nothing apart from the taste of bitterness in their mouths. Leaving Landsdowne so close to the summit only to see them tumble back down. As for Whitey he just had the taste of lager from his 10 hour session the day before.

"MAN OF THE MATCH" Daniel Sarling (Mr Vegas) was unavailable for comment as he had to shoot quickly for his latest porno shoot, which apparently is quite the norm.